Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: Is this a real book?
A: Yes.
Q: Does this book contain any talking polar bears?
A: No, this book contains no talking polar bears.
Q: What is this book’s genre?
A: Nonsensical paradoxical fantasy.
Q: How long is the book?
A: It’s about 9 inches long.
Q: Why is it called The Lost Compass?
A: Unless you don’t read the book, you may never find out.
Q: Can I get this as a book on tape?
A: Who uses cassette tapes anymore?
Q: Who is Austin Scott Clark?
A: The author.
Q: I can’t decide if this book works best as a gift to a friend or a gift to an enemy. What would you suggest?
A: Both are great options; everyone loves to laugh.
Q: Is “The Lost Compass: an Ingenious Novel Based on Real-Life Happenings by Austin Scott Clark” available in other languages?
A: It’s barely available in English.
Q: Why are all my pages glued together?
A: We’re not sure why all your pages are glued together. Make sure not to accidentally spill glue on your book.
Q: Why is the sky blue?
A: Well, during the day blue light is scattered more than the other frequencies of visible light.
Q: I went to my local bookstore today to buy a copy of this book. At first I wasn’t sure if I should look in the fiction or the non-fiction section. On top of that, I was confused if this was children’s literature or for young adults. Then I thought it might even be for adults, because I really don’t know too much about The Lost Compass. So after about three hours of search, I ended up asking an employee. At first she was really helpful and told me it was a very popular book. She took me through the store and showed me the book. It wasn’t until I got home with it that I realized that it was not The Lost Compass but The Golden Compass. I took it back the next day, but no one at the store had ever heard of The Lost Compass. They asked who the author was, and it took several minutes before they realized that I was not talking about Orson Scott Card. They helped me look for another hour before I gave up. I have tried several other stores since then, but with similar results. Is there a place online where I can buy this book?
A: Yes.
Q: If babies come from storks, where do the storks get the babies?
A: We get this one a lot. The current prevailing theories are that the storks kidnap the babies from orphanages and adoption centers, or that storks are magical and simply make babies appear out of thin air.
Q: If Mark has a bag of marbles–28 red marbles, 13 green marbles, 17 blue marbles–and he gives one-sixth of his marbles to Amy after throwing away four-sevenths of his marbles colored neither green nor blue, what is the probability of Amy receiving more green marbles than either of the other color of marbles?
A: …………………………….
Q: What does the acronym SMH stand for?
A: Strange Moo aHoy! I think.
Q: No serioiusly, is this a real book?
A: Yes.